Of Blood and Sorrow Page 12

  “That was exactly what it was.” I puffed out big misty breaths, with one long one when we came out onto the street and there were several university students gathering around to see what the big fight at the Basement was about. Police cars wound their way through the traffic toward the club.

  “Faster. Come on!” I wasn’t feeling any relief yet having rescued him. It meant little at the moment other than the fact that we were together again and now Hessa would have more reason to come for us.

  I steered us toward the campus where we could lose ourselves among the students. They were faceless bodies to me right now. Abdiel had more of a face. He went in there knowing what he was up against, and since Hessa had come for us by the exit, I could only guess Abdiel was dead. My throat tightened, but I couldn’t spare a second to think about who sacrificed themselves for me. We needed to find somewhere safe to go.

  “We need a cab.”

  “We need to get far away from this town as possible.” Nicolas was moving more fluidly now and with as much purpose as I was.

  I threw him a disbelieving look. “So now you’re ready to leave town?”

  “I can’t go back to Hessa. And have no doubt, she’s going to kill us.” His lips thinned. “I’ve always wanted to go to Australia.”

  “You go then.” I snarled. “I’m staying until I know she’s brought to justice for Connor’s death.” Justice meaning that she was dead. Now it was either kill or be killed.

  Nicolas sighed and slowed his pace as we came to the front of the student union. He took my hand to slow me down so we were walking together. If not for our intense expressions, I bet we could pass ourselves off as any other couple on campus.

  “Did you know how many vampires were in there?” he asked quietly.

  “No.” I stared at the ground as we walked.

  “All right. Do you know how many Allu demons you brought with you?”

  “I came with Abdiel. I didn’t know he had others there until the fighting broke out.” As much as I hated it, I felt bad that Abdiel died fighting for me. He hated vampires, but he came for me. He made sure the other Allu were there for me. I wasn’t that important for people to die for. All I had wanted to do was help a confused new vamp do something good.

  Nicolas sighed a second time and tugged me to sit on the stone steps. He kept my hand in his as if I might suddenly try to scurry off.

  “Hessa’s been recruiting. There were dozens of vampires in the club. She has nearly a hundred in the region. Way too many according to her top two vamp friends, but they don’t talk back to her any more. She killed them.” His heaved a sigh as he spoke. I could feel the sadness and the fear and anger born from it. I opened myself to it. He didn’t need it clouding his head.

  “Not all the vampires are as careful as she told them to be. Too many human deaths are going to attract attention. On top of it, she’s been experimenting with a new sort of drug. I knew about it before, but I thought it was a new type of meth or something since it has to be injected. But it’s not.” He swallowed as if something was stuck in his throat. “It’s something much worse. I’m sorry to have to say it, but it smells like—”

  “Demons.” I finished for him. “Abdiel suspected Hessa is making the drugs from demons. He didn’t know how because she’d need a lot of dead ones to experiment with, but he wasn’t the type to base his suspicions on general guesses.”

  “It kills the users.” Nicolas’ jaw clenched, and he tipped his head back to look at the night sky. “She knew it would kill me when she started giving me the drugs.”

  I wasn’t going to comfort him. It was done and he was dead—well, undead. I bet Hessa told him he should count himself as one of the lucky ones that she gave him her blood. And no doubt Hessa said that to every single person she changed.

  “The question is why? The thing with dealers is to get the addicts hooked on their stuff so they keep using, keep buying. It doesn’t make any sense to kill them off.” I caught Nicolas giving me a questioning look out of the corner of my eye and added, “Cop shows taught me that. I like those shows.”

  “Huh.” Nicolas smiled a little and then went serious again. “You’re right. So what’s her deal? Vampires can’t drink from the users. It makes them sick. It was real potent stuff. The high was phenomenal. Maybe she’s trying to find a way to fix it so it doesn’t kill people?”

  “It’s made from demons. I can’t see how it wouldn’t kill humans.” It made sense it caused vampires to be sick too. Demon blood was repulsive to them. Yet then why would Hessa want to fill humans with it? “It’s the only reason I can think of, but it doesn’t feel right. If she just wanted to sell drugs to make money, there are a lot of easier ways to do it than killing demons to make them.”

  “Maybe she wants to kill off all the demons in the world, and Hessa being Hessa thinks to make a profit while doing it.” He shrugged.

  “I don’t know.” I shook my head. A taxi with three college girls pulled up, and they stumbled out laughing. I stood and gestured to it. “Let’s grab the cab. Maybe we’ll be able to come up with something when we’re in a secure place.”

  Nicolas followed and sat in the back with me.

  “Where to?” The driver reset the meter and looked at us in the rearview mirror.

  Nicolas turned his head to me. I couldn’t take him to the Lady’s house, even though it would be the safest place. I didn’t dare suggest we hide out in his mother’s basement again. A random place like a hotel room or an abandoned building wasn’t going to make me feel safe.

  “Putzkammer and Sons Funeral Home. Near East First and South Walnut.”

  It probably wasn’t the best of ideas, but it was my only one. I hoped no one would think I’d take Nicolas back there to hide him. It was just past midnight. None of the Putzkammers would be there. Not even Paul worked that late. I had my keys and knew the code for the security system.

  Yet there were cars in the parking lot. The lights were on. I sat motionless in the backseat.

  Fuck. What was I going to do now?

  “Well? You getting out?” The driver turned in his seat and gave us an impatient look.

  “Maybe we should go somewhere el—” Nicolas stopped when we saw the side door open and Bolona pulled someone out. No, dragged him out.

  A body? What the hell was going on?

  I sped out of the car and sprinted across the lot. Water streamed out the door, and Bolona grunted with the effort of dragging Cort outside. Her short, dark hair stuck out, and her gaze swung to me frantically.

  “Oh, thank the gods you’re here!” Bolona dropped Cort on the ground. He was still with wide eyes but breathing.

  “What’s going on?” I could hear wailing from inside, and then an eerie tune sung by a woman. Something else titillated my senses. Something powerful. Something far too familiar.

  Oh no. My eyes fluttered and blackness teased the edges of my vision.

  Nicolas stood beside me, eyes scanning the area and coming to rest on the door. He frowned and gave his head a shake.

  Bolona paused, staring hard at the vampire, but then wrapped me in a tight hug. She hurried me inside. I didn’t even think to resist. The water wasn’t deep in the hall, but it was flowing out of one of the funeral rooms as from a broken dam.

  “Aleo had to continue on with business. He shouldn’t have done this one without you.” Bolona shook her head and moaned. Each splashing step punctuated her words.

  Loss poured out with the continuous flow of water. The sort that could scratch out your soul bit by bit with grief.

  No. Oh please, no.

  The singing grew louder, and an immense wave of anguish smashed into me. My legs shook and I might’ve fallen to my knees if I didn’t grab Nicolas. I let out a soft cry and choked back a sob. My spots sparked with heat, and I’d barely tasted the grief. I shook my head. Shook it for all that I loved and loathed.

  “No, no.” I stumbled back into Nicolas. “You know I don’t do this sort.”


  “Please, Erin. Svetla lost her daughter. None of her family can soothe her. She’s singing. Aleo, my boys, they’ll be lost to me as surely as Connor is.” Bolona’s pleas were powerful, sorrow fueling them, but not nearly as potent as what poured through the building as the water continued to flow.

  “I don’t know what’s going on, but I can feel the pull of the song. It’s hard to resist. I can only imagine how hard it would be for the others.” Nicolas rubbed my arms as water sloshed around our feet. “You do this all the time. You’ve got a gift. I bet you’ve helped countless mothers. You can do this.”

  I twisted my head and stared at him hard. Gnashing my teeth, I tried not to let my fears turn into anger directed at him. He didn’t know. None of them knew how this affected me except Connor. And he wasn’t there to help.

  The song reached new heights, and another wave of water splashed out from one of the ceremony rooms. My stomach churned, and I glanced at the side door.

  I could run. Leave town. Leave it all.

  “Erin,” Bolona begged and wiped at her tears. “Please. Just this once.”

  The grief of a parent who’d lost a child was great. I comforted parents who’d lost their adult children, but for some reason, the sorrow of a mother who lost a baby was colossal. It wasn’t that my appetite was too small. On the contrary, my body ached to pull it in, but I never wanted to be the sort of Phage who let my spots turn black.

  I would not be my mother. Never.

  But after everything Bolona had done and how much the Putzkammers meant to me, I couldn’t refuse. No matter how much I screamed inside to run away, I couldn’t let the men fall victim to Svetla’s song. Connor died because of me. I could save the rest.

  Steeling myself, I bit my lower lip and waded through the water to the ceremony room at the end of the hall. The sight of the fish women didn’t startle me. I’d known the Rusalka demon by her song.

  Svetla sat upon the altar with a tiny wrapped figure in her arms. She rocked as she sang, clutching the dead baby to her. Her family knelt to one side as if hypnotized and hummed their quiet back-up. Her tears poured from her eyes like tiny waterfalls to fill the room.

  The grief carried the force of a tidal wave.

  The baby’s first sleepy coo. How she gripped her mother’s pinky finger as if she never wanted to let go.

  Off to the right side of the door, Paul and Aleo lay propped up on the pews, but were close to being submerged. Like Cort, they were unmoving yet awake.

  I pointed to them and made a motion to Nicolas. He nodded, rushed over to pick them up, and removed them from the room. Bolona was fast to follow him.

  The Putzkammers were safe from drowning, but not completely in the clear yet. Now it was time for me to sacrifice for everything they had done for me.

  I opened myself fully to the sorrow. Tears trickled down my cheeks. There was no way to describe the richness of a new mother’s anguish. Svetla would tear down the world with her grief and not care. The greatest tragedies and the biggest wars were all born of sorrow.

  Svetla’s daughter blowing bubbles under water. How it felt to hold her warm child, nuzzling her to her breasts as she fed. The beauty of a newborn. Of her newborn.

  I stumbled forward into deeper water, gaze upon the weeping mother. There was enough grief coming from the family to feed me well for months, but Svetla’s alone was more than I’d ever tasted. The intensity knocked me to my knees several times before I reached the altar and continued to feed.

  The baby’s naming ceremony. How her scales had gleamed.

  Water flowed around me and splashed in my face. I bit my lip harder and tasted blood, but I couldn’t hold back a sob. As I cried, I drank deeper as if each tear made more room within me.

  Svetla’s song began to soften, and after several minutes, she only wept. Her tears were no longer waterfalls. Her family was released from the hold she had on them. They gathered around each other, circling the grieving mother, and tried to give one another comfort.

  My spots were so hot they burned down to my bones. Every sense was heightened. I felt twice as big as I knew I truly was. The anguish was raw, sublime.

  I was invincible.

  “Please.” Svetla’s warbling voice broke me out of my trance. “Please don’t take it all away. Let me feel it. I need to feel it.”

  I snapped back to reality. Svetla knew what I was and what I was doing. Usually I was much more subtle about it when I helped clients. Right now though, I was gorging. I didn’t want to stop. There was a beast within me that wanted it all and didn’t care if I left Svetla an emotionally empty husk.

  “Stop, please.” Svelta bent toward me. She was still holding her daughter’s body. The beautifully wrapped corpse. So tiny and precious.

  That first almost smile reserved just for a mother. The baby’s wide, adoring blue eyes.

  Eyes that would open no more.

  I forced my metaphysical jaws shut. I yanked myself away from the altar, falling and splashing in the water. I let out a small cry, so entirely disgusted with myself. I crawled forward and pulled myself up with the help of a pew. My entire body shook.

  Nicolas ran forward and took me into his arms. He murmured something to soothe me, but I tossed him to the side. I didn’t even blink. It was as if he had been nothing more than a rag doll.

  I stumbled out of the room and into the hall. I shook my head at myself. I shouldn’t have done it. It wasn’t right.

  And what was worse, I only wanted more.

  Nicolas grabbed me by the shoulders. I didn’t push him away this time. “Erin. Breathe, baby, breathe. You saved them. Everything’s going to be all right now.”

  “No.” I shook my head again, more vehemently this time. “No. Don’t you see? It’s never going to be all right again.”

  I collapsed into his arms and wept. Not for Svetla’s lost daughter or Connor or anyone else. I cried for myself and for doing something I swore I would never do.

  When my tears finally ran dry, I peeked up to see we were in the family sitting room. The fresh scents of tea and coffee awakened my senses. Bolona and Aleo talked quietly from somewhere behind me. Nicolas’ arms were still around me, not tight, but not so loose I would slip out if I went limp.

  “Hey,” he said. His mouth twitched as if unsure he should smile or not.

  “Everyone’s okay?” My throat was dry and rough.

  “Aleo and his sons have completely recovered. Are you okay?” His eyes searched mine for any hints.

  “No.” I wasn’t going to pretend. My spots still felt hot. No, hotter than that. Scorching. “How’s Svetla?”

  “The…” Nicolas searched for a word. “The sirens are gone. She exhausted herself. Nearly was asleep as they escorted her to the car.”

  “Rusalka demons. Well, inland sirens, if you want.” I sat up on my own. There was a crick in my neck, and I moved my head from side to side to try to make it ease its hold. The only thing that would help now was if someone would lop off my head.

  “It doesn’t matter what you call them. Their song can lure men to their death.” Bolona came around the couch with a teacup. She held it out to me with one hand as she used the other to brush my hair back from my face. “Drink this, dear. It’ll make you feel better.”

  Nothing would make me feel better. I quietly thanked her and took a sip. I wasn’t a fan of herbal tea, but I knew better than to tell Bolona I didn’t want to eat or drink something when it was given to me. I glanced over at the coffee with longing, and Bolona shook her head.

  “No, none of that tonight. The last thing you need is caffeine. You’ll drink that tea and then you’ll get some rest.”

  “I’d like to hear what brought you here tonight.” Aleo sat in a chair nearby, keeping the most distance between him and the vampire. He wasn’t looking at Nicolas threateningly, but he wasn’t being accepting as Bolona seemed to be.

  “Well, it’s sort of a long story,” I began but was quieted with a squeeze on the shoulder by Nico
las.

  “Drink your tea. I’ll tell them.”

  Nicolas told them everything. The important details of recent events minus certain bits that I was glad he was wise enough to leave out. He didn’t exaggerate, but it wasn’t necessary when it was a fact our lives were in danger.

  “Oh, Erin.” Bolona dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

  “This isn’t happening. Not in my town.” Aleo growled as he stood. He plucked another tissue out of the box to hand to his wife and then came over to pull me into a hug. “You poor dear. I’ll find a way to make all this right. You don’t have to worry about a thing. I’ll make some phone calls and you rest. Tomorrow, we’ll get you as far away from here as possible until it’s all over.”

  What? He was shipping me off? I made a noise of protest, but he marched out of the room. I looked to Bolona for help.

  “I’m sorry, dear, but he’s right. There’s nothing you can do. Either of you.” Bolona gave a look to Nicolas to include him in it too. “It would make us feel better knowing you’re far away and safe. We have powerful friends. What Hessa’s doing is horrible, and it won’t take much to raise some help.”

  “But—”

  A shush meant to be soothing cut me off. It had the opposite effect as I shook my head.

  “You won’t be able to move him on this one, dear. And I won’t help you to do so.” Bolona stood, giving me an apologetic look. “You saved my men tonight, and for that I’m eternally grateful. Now it’s our turn to save you.” She walked over and kissed me on top of my head. She tenderly stroked my hair.

  Nothing would save me now. The least I could do was get revenge for Connor. I had to right the wrong I caused.

  “Thank you, too, for what you’ve done, Nicolas. Erin is like the daughter we’ve never had. Know that’s how much we love her. When the others arrive to deal with Hessa, I can’t make any promises as to your safety. I think it best if you left town too. Aleo won’t give you that warning, but I see how you care for her. Leave while you can.”

  “Thank you for that.” Nicolas nodded, saying nothing about whether he would leave or not.