Of Blood and Sorrow Page 17

  My mother’s face. How? What did he know?

  Don’t panic. Think of something else. I swiped at my forehead.

  I curled up on the seat, trying to ignore the hundred little blazing stars that were my spots. I’d never fed so much before. And I could have kept going. I could have fed forever. Not even my mother had gorged like that.

  What did he know? I couldn’t sit still.

  Blocking out someone’s grief was a skill I learned early on before the incident with my mother. Focusing on a particular person or opening myself up to a group’s sorrow were things I could always do, but I had honed them while working at the funeral home. Never had it been like this.

  A glutton. Selfish and tainted. I’d taken without need nor did I heed the cues when I should have stopped. Those demons who were tortured and dying deserved their grief. It was all they had left in that warehouse.

  Vampires drained the blood of their victims. I’d drained their souls. I was the bigger monster.

  And Abdiel felt it. I would’ve drained him too if he hadn’t shocked me out of it. With my mother’s face. I wanted to throw up again. Instead, I kicked at the front passenger seat, and it tore off its base to smash against the dashboard.

  “Do what you want with the car, but I need a place to sit if you want me to drive you home.” Abdiel opened the driver’s side door and looked in at me. He no longer wore my mother’s face. This one was young and scarred.

  It was almost funny to think of Abdiel as my personal driver. Almost. Nothing about him was laughable. The face that he’d worn. And what I had tasted inside of him…

  “How?”

  “How what?” Abdiel sat down and rested an arm on the top of the driver’s seat as he peered back at me.

  “That face. My mother’s face.” I swallowed hard.

  He shrugged and not a hint of emotion showed on his face. “I know about you, your past, what happened. Had to make sure you weren’t a threat when you came to the Putzkammers.”

  All this time, he’d known about me. I could barely breathe. And if Abdiel knew… “What about Aleo? Did he know?”

  “I told him everything I discovered.”

  Oh god. Aleo knew. Likely he told Bolona. They didn’t keep secrets. Connor didn’t know until I told him, so likely Cort and Paul weren’t informed. “And the Lady?”

  “She has her own ways.” He looked away, his arm dropping beside him. “Best to assume she knows everything.”

  And why wouldn’t she know? I was the first person she let live with her in centuries. They all were aware I was a murderer. They all knew what I was, and still, they let me into their lives, took care of me, loved me.

  I covered my mouth as a sob escaped me. They loved me. They loved me for all that I was. How was I so lucky to have such people to care about me like that? I missed Aleo and Bolona so much. I wanted to hug them and never let go.

  No. I couldn’t let myself be reduced to a wailing puddle of mush.

  Focus. Think beyond the sorrow. Deal with the problem happening now. I needed to find out what happened to Nicolas.

  “We need to find Nicolas.” I didn’t know where to begin. If there was a trail of destruction to follow, it might be easy, but the chaos ended in the parking lot.

  “The sun’s about to come up. They’ll have to find shelter somewhere. If he’s smart and still alive, he’ll go back to the Lady’s house,” Abdiel said. “He’s likely dead. Truly dead.”

  While I could appreciate his honesty, I didn’t want to hear it. I pressed my head to my knees and bit my lower lip.

  “His stunt saved you. Saved the other demons’ lives in there.” There was a hint of respect in his tone.

  “I don’t matter. He should have saved himself,” I mumbled.

  “His death warrant had already been signed. And yours, too, likely. But as you said, you don’t matter.” Abdiel bent down and fiddled with the wires he exposed earlier under the steering column.

  I hadn’t expected him to agree. I raised my head and glared at him. What I hated even more was his assumption that Nicolas was dead. That he should be dead any which way.

  “Just because he’s a vampire doesn’t mean he deserves death. He isn’t like the others.” I knew the prejudice demons carried against vampires. I once shared it. I still did to a point, but Nicolas was an exception. Being a vampire was just incidental to what Nicolas was.

  “Being a vampire means he was dead and he should have stayed that way. They’re unnatural.” The car started and Abdiel sat up. “And yes, he’s different from the others. Different only in that you led him to be that way.”

  “I had nothing to do with what Nicolas is like.” I frowned. What the hell did he mean?

  “You have everything to do with what he’s like. He found you first and came back to you. You helped him. If he had gone to Hessa, she would have had herself a new toy and all of us would have eventually ended up in that warehouse.”

  “You’re exaggerating.”

  “I don’t exaggerate.” Abdiel put the car in reverse and pulled out of the spot.

  I opened my mouth to argue with him, but then shut it again. He was an Allu demon. Not only that, he was Abdiel. He didn’t exaggerate.

  He drove for a few blocks before he said anything more.

  “The bitch will still be alive and she’ll be looking for you. Not just setting up traps like with the fire—”

  “That was a trap?” Fuck. I felt so naïve.

  “Of course it was. Bait to bring you out and likely the vampire with you. If he didn’t come, you’d have been bait for him.”

  “But why burn the winery and not the funeral home? Burning the funeral home would have brought me there with a certainty.” Just the thought of the place on fire made my stomach tighten and twist. It was horrible enough I had lost three of the Putzkammers already.

  “Good question.” Abdiel didn’t comment any further on it.

  I leaned back, staring out the window. Was Hessa toying with us? With me? It would seem like her to do so. Being a vampire, she had all the time in the world for a slow revenge. Yet Hessa had other concerns on her mind with Nicolas, the warehouse, the demon drugs. So why waste time with the Putzkammers?

  “The funeral home. What does it have that is of value to her?” I hadn’t realized I had said it out loud until I heard a low chuckle from my driver.

  “Even better question.”

  Lost to my own morbid thoughts, I didn’t say anything more until we arrived at the Lady’s house. The first rays of sunlight peeked over the horizon. I hopped out of the car.

  “Stay until I check to see if Nicolas is here.” I didn’t wait for his reply. I ran to the door, opened it, and practically flew down the stairs. Please let him be okay. Please.

  He wasn’t there.

  “No.” I shook my head and refused to believe he might be dead. I ran back up the stairs and outside to where Abdiel was still waiting in the idling car. “He’s not here.”

  He nodded once, not surprised. Not seeming like he felt anything.

  “We need to find him.” I went to open the door, and he held up a halting hand.

  “You stay with the Lady today. Let me do the hunting.” Abdiel’s tone demanded complete obedience.

  “But—”

  “Try to think of why Hessa might want Putzkammers. Find the brothers and lock them down somewhere safe. I’m sure the Lady will take them into her home.” His mouth twitched with a bit of a smirk. Then his serious gaze bore into me. “Think about your power too. You might better defend yourself than you think.”

  “What? No.” I shook my head and tried to dismiss that last comment. “Back there at the warehouse, that was, no. That was wrong. I—”

  “You fed without limit. You were starting to feed on me. I’ve never met a Phage who could do so.” Abdiel’s lips thinned. “Don’t ever feed from me again.”

  Before I could say anything else, he put the car in drive and sped away. Behind me, I heard the Lady ope
n the front door and call my name.

  “I would rather have my balls drawn and quartered than go to the Lady’s house.” Cort gripped the arms of his desk chair as if daring me to try to move him.

  “Oh come on. She’s not going to do anything. I don’t know why every man is so afraid of her.” I rolled my eyes and then added before he could say anything, “She doesn’t bite the heads off her mates anymore. Is that what you’re worried about?”

  Cort paled, then shook his head, and sawed his jaw as he worked some color back into his face. “Great. Now I have something else to be terrified of.”

  “Why? What else—”

  “I found him downstairs working.” The Lady ushered Paul into the office. He swiftly made his way to the corner of the room farthest away from her. “Working, after all that’s happened.” She tsked.

  “We still have a business to run.” Cort stated. “My father would have kept going.”

  It was what Aleo would’ve done. In a way, I admired the brothers that they kept working, but I wanted them to be safe too. I slipped over to where Paul was standing and gave his hand a squeeze. Hopefully he’d stop looking so terrified if I stood by his side.

  “The dead can wait.” The Lady waved off his excuse. “And the undead will kill you all if you give them the chance. With me, at my house, you’ll be safe.”

  “We thank you for the offer, but we’ll be safe enough here.” Cort was carefully polite in his refusal.

  “They’ll burn this place down next.” The Lady’s expression hardened. I swallowed hard.

  “We won’t let them. We’ll find some way to stop them,” Cort said fiercely. He then grinned. “I’ll call the Rusalka. A few of them can douse any fire.”

  A pretty good idea. This was why Cort was in charge. Yet I knew something they didn’t.

  “Dear, dear.” The Lady sighed and shook her head. “A few Rusalka won’t stop the vampires.”

  “They won’t burn down the funeral home,” I spoke up.

  All eyes rested upon me.

  “Oh, they will. They’re just toying with you.” The Lady spoke with confidence, but her head tilted as she waited to hear more.

  I told them what happened the previous night. They knew of the winery fire, but had no idea that it was related to any of this. I described the warehouse and what the vampires were doing with the demons. Paul sank into a chair, and Cort was on the edge of his, tense with his fury.

  “If they wanted to bring me out of hiding, burning this place would have done it. But they didn’t. They want something.”

  “Now there’s the question.” The Lady sat on the edge of the desk and tapped a finger to her chin.

  Trying to come up with a logical answer, we sat in silence for a minute.

  “I think I know.” Paul broke the silence. We all turned to him, the last person of the group I expected to say anything. “The crematorium.” When we all continued to stare at him, he continued. “You know it’s magically enhanced to cremate demon remains. Normal cremators aren’t hot enough. If the vampires want to hide their crimes, you know, uh, dispose of the bodies of their demon victims, then that’s the perfect place to do it.”

  Holy shit. Paul was a genius.

  “That does make sense.” Cort leaned back. “I mean, if they had that many demons in the warehouse, they couldn’t keep burying the bodies. At some point, someone was going to find them and discover what was going on. No bodies, no crime.”

  “The crematorium is one thing, but it’s replaceable.” The Lady stood. A hand fluttered up to her mouth as a realization came upon her. “They want the funeral home. They want to run it. Putzkammer and Sons has a reputation. Demons across the world know of it. What better place to lure new victims in. They wouldn’t have to hunt. Demons would come right to them.”

  I sucked in a gasp. Paul was smart, but the Lady had been around for centuries. I didn’t know why I didn’t think of this before now. It seemed obvious. Demons from all over came to Putzkammer & Sons. Aleo had connections across the globe. They might not hear he had passed away, and they’d come to the funeral home. Or even if they did hear, they’d still come believing his sons were running the place. The Blood of Ammut was well respected.

  “That means the vampires will kill the two of you.” The Lady looked from Cort to Paul and then to me. “And then you when she discovers the place goes to you next.”

  Me? It shouldn’t have surprised me. I wanted to cry again that Aleo thought so much of me to include me as one of his heirs.

  “As if Hessa needs another reason to kill me.” I murmured and flopped down in a chair.

  “This is why you all must come to my home,” the Lady said.

  Cort and Paul were silent. Not even they could protest now.

  “Your home won’t be protection enough if Hessa wants to kill us.” I gave her an apologetic look. “The vampires won’t attack during the day. And you’re asleep at night. Vampires can get past your wards.” I didn’t add that Nicolas had been able to enter the house, but the Lady would know what I meant. “They wouldn’t have to come in anyway. They’d just burn the place down.”

  The Lady frowned, but she didn’t disagree.

  “Knowing they won’t destroy the funeral home, it’s best to stay here.” I concluded and saw Cort give a nod.

  “We’ll make a stand. They’ll come here looking to find us, but we’ll have some surprises for them.” Cort stood, re-energized by his declaration. I could see the fire in his eyes. He wanted the fight. Charming and professional as he could be, Cort still liked to cater to his more primal needs. The tension in his body had his muscles straining at his expensive shirt. It was a good thing he didn’t notice the Lady eyeing him with interest.

  “I don’t know.” Paul shook his head and looked as though he might vomit at any second.

  “You’ll stand up and protect what’s ours.” Cort took his brother by the shoulders and stood him up, giving him a shake. “You have the same blood as I do. Even if one of us can manage to transform, we’ll have the advantage.”

  “But Father, Hessa—”

  “The bitch will be the first to die.” Cort growled, showing teeth.

  “We’ll make calls. Father already has a lot of friends in town.” Paul swallowed, forcing himself to stand a little straighter. “We’ll have our own army.”

  “Yes!” Cort patted him hard on the shoulder and strode around the desk. Around the opposite side the Lady was positioned. “We’ll block up all the other entrances. Funnel the vampires through the side door down the hall. Slaughter them as they come through.”

  The brothers marched out of the room. Cort’s voice boomed down the hall with exclamations of what he wanted to do the unnatural bastards. My chest tightened. I didn’t feel as optimistic as he sounded.

  “You’ll stand with them, won’t you, my dear?” The Lady glided over and laid a hand upon my head. She tenderly stroked my hair before tipping my head back so I looked up at her. “Your vampire?”

  Could a breaking heart make a sound? Mine cracked like ice shattering on a frozen lake.

  “Abdiel thinks he’s dead.” I cringed at my own words.

  “What do you think?”

  “Well, he was fighting Hessa. She’s so strong and his sire. The sun came up. Abdiel said—”

  “I don’t want to know what he said. What do you feel?” The Lady raised her brows. “What’s in your heart?”

  I knew the logical answer. Nicolas wouldn’t be able to defeat Hessa. The chances that he got away were miniscule. He didn’t return to the Lady’s house. The places a vampire could hide during the day weren’t numerous.

  It was silly to think Nicolas would be all right. Silly refused to let me believe he was dead, though. Silly was making my heart beat harder, my hope secretly bloom.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and pushed down that ridiculous line of thinking. It hurt to think about it one way or the other.

  “He’s not coming back.”

  The Lady
regarded me silently and then pulled up a chair to sit across from me. I was ready to hear some lecture about Nicolas or being negative, or something that would have meaning only for the other demon. I didn’t expect what the Lady did say.

  “Do you have your compact?”

  “What?” I frowned, silently cursed myself, and then shook my head. I’d forgotten it at home.

  The Lady smiled and leaned over, slipping something smooth and warm into my hand. “The battle is going to happen tonight, and I won’t be able to be here. You’re going to have to fight and win.”

  “I can’t fight.” I blinked. Was she being real with me? I fingered the compact. But even with that, I said. “I’m not strong enough.”

  “My dear, haven’t you been paying attention to anything you’ve done lately?” The Lady tapped me on the knee like chastising a child. “You’re so much more than you think you are. You can defeat Hessa on your own.”

  “What?” I gasped and let out a hard laugh as I stuffed the compact into my pants’ pocket. “If you mean by throwing myself to her as a sacrifice and being put through the wringer before my blood is shot into some junkie’s arm, then yes, I can defeat her on my own.”

  The Lady grabbed my hands and held them tight within hers. I winced and tried to pull back without success.

  “Listen to me, Erin. You’re strong. Your spots are black.” The Lady held my hands tighter as I attempted to recoil at the statement. “It doesn’t mean you’re a monster. It only means you’ve fed well. And is that in itself a sin?”

  Yes. Okay, no. Maybe. Nothing was certain anymore.

  “You could have fed on everyone in that warehouse and no one would have walked out except for you. I don’t believe you’re a Mutt. I’ve felt you were different the moment I met you.”

  Not a Mutt? I had no idea what had gotten into her head, but she didn’t know what she was talking about.

  “My father was human. My mother told me that enough times. I’m less than what she was.”

  “And what else was your mother, hm?” The Lady leaned in. “She was a lying bitch.”