Of Blood and Sorrow Page 18

  I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. No horns, pointed ears, or fur. Even when I’d gorged myself at the warehouse, I didn’t turn into a monster.

  A full-blooded demon.

  I’d laughed when Nicolas asked if I would transform if I fed too much. He knew nothing about demons, and it seemed I didn’t either.

  Anything my mother had told me could be a lie. All that history, those horrible tales of demons stalking humans in the night to feed upon them in one way or another and everything about what a Phage was, all worth nothing.

  I gripped the edge of the sink. Really, why did I believe my mom to begin with? She was a murderer. The bitch killed to feed well. I discovered early in my life I didn’t need to kill to feed. Why didn’t I question everything else then?

  Cringing at a shrill screech from the nearest visitation room, I leaned forward to rest upon my elbows. The funeral home was filling with demons. All there to help the Putzkammers protect what was theirs. Some of them were equally as motivated by the fact they’d get to rip a bunch of vampires to shreds and maybe get an opportunity to take down Hessa.

  Even pumped full of Hessa’s drugs, her vamps didn’t stand a chance. The Allu alone could take down their enemies.

  Why was I still here?

  Ah yes, the Lady insisted. And while part of me wanted a shot at Hessa herself, I wasn’t certain about anything now.

  Was I a full-blooded demon? And what did that mean? Would Hessa even come herself? Where was Nicolas? Was he still alive?

  Snarls and shouts were followed by a gunshot. Someone pounded on the bathroom door.

  There would be no peace here.

  Sighing, I straightened and opened the door. Bolona sneered at me and pushed me aside.

  “Get out.”

  I couldn’t breathe. I stumbled backward into the hall. The world was fuzzy at the edges of my vision.

  Bolona.

  Strong hands grabbed me by the upper arms and spun me around.

  Connor?

  “What are you still doing here?” Connor snapped.

  My mouth opened and closed without a sound. Connor never spoke to me like that. Bolona didn’t have a mean bone in her body. This was Hell.

  Glancing past Connor, I shuddered to see Aleo. And another Aleo. Four Aleos. Plus one more Bolona.

  “Erin, you need to get it together and leave.” Connor shook me.

  All of them wore black leather. Guns, knives, and all manner of weapons adorned their bodies.

  Not Connor. That wasn’t Bolona. They were all dead.

  I blinked slowly and found my voice. “Abdiel?”

  “Yes.” Abdiel released me and bent down to whisper near my ear. “We wear these faces as a sign of respect. And to fuck with the vampires. We can take care of this. Go to the Lady’s house where you’ll be safe.”

  “She told me to stay.” My gaze kept drifting to the Aleos and Bolona. How did the Allu manage to get the faces spot on? Every freckle and hair in the right place. Faces I should never be able to see again apart from in a photograph.

  Abdiel hissed between his teeth. “Then go somewhere out of the way. Hide.”

  Was he truly concerned about my safety or did he just want me out of the way? Connor would want to protect me. And he had Connor down to the exact shade of hazel in his eyes. My chin trembled.

  All I wanted was for Connor to hug me. One of the big bear ones.

  “Hide.” Abdiel pushed me away.

  Did he see my wish for a hug in my expression? Nothing could be more embarrassing. The Allu probably didn’t even know how to embrace someone unless it was to restrain them so he could ram a blade up under the person’s ribs.

  I turned and walked in the opposite direction of the dead Putzkammers. Hide. But where? Vampires had better senses than most demons. They’d be able to sniff me out no matter where I was in the funeral home.

  Perhaps not everywhere.

  The mortuary. Embalming fluid stank. Maybe worse for vampires than demons.

  And Paul was down there.

  Cort always proved to be the tough big brother. He teased me and was affectionate, but he’d agree with Abdiel. Tell me to go. Maybe lock me away somewhere.

  While Connor was my best friend, Paul was my quiet, intellectual companion. Whenever I helped him in the basement, he’d give me gently spoken instructions and we’d go about our work in silence. When we talked, Paul was thoughtful and intelligent. Not the shrewd businessman Cort was nor the sweet charmer Connor had been, but a respectful in between.

  Paul would listen to me. He’d understand, and his first instinct wouldn’t be to tell me to go hide. Maybe he’d know something about full-blooded demons. More particularly about Phages.

  I slipped down the hall and opened the basement door. I closed it without a sound, happy to block out the din behind me. Aleo could’ve answered my questions, but as Paul was the embalmer and worked with the bodies, he’d know a lot about demons.

  The stairs were steep and curved. An elevator was used to bring bodies and supplies down below. These stairs seemed squished into the building as a last minute thought.

  Halfway down, I heard voices and paused. With the clarity of them, the door at the bottom had to be propped open.

  I recognized Paul’s but not the others’. Were there other demons in the mortuary?

  I crept down a few more stairs.

  “… very specific time.”

  “I want numbers. Specifics. Get your ass up there.” The unknown voice snarled.

  “I was told to remain in place so I could be here at the exact time I need to be.” Paul stated, his tone stiff.

  “You’ve got plenty of fucking time.” The other person huffed.

  I slipped down another few steps and came to the first point where I could peer around the corner at the basement. Holding back my hair with one hand and using the other to brace myself against the wall, I leaned until I could see Paul.

  And a vampire.

  “I’m staying here where I was told. And you’d best do the same.” With that, Paul slammed the freezer door shut.

  Not just one bastard. There had been others behind him in the freezer. Five? Eight? A dozen?

  This wasn’t possible. Maybe those were some sort of ice demons who needed to stay in the cold for a while. Cort could’ve called the Wendigo.

  But no, it wouldn’t fit with the conversation I’d heard.

  Ice demons? That was dumb. A desperate attempt at trying to rationalize the scene. Pathetic.

  There were vampires in the basement. I needed to tell Cort and fetch the Allu.

  No. Paul. They’d kill him. He knew the vampires were there.

  Why did he know they were there? What was going on?

  Hessa! That bitch must have messed with his mind. Everyone thought it was another demon leaking information, but it was one of the Putzkammers under her freaky spell.

  All it would take was a bit of pain to make Paul snap out of it. I knew he’d forgive me for it afterward.

  I ran fast down the stairs. Not a blur like a vampire, but much quicker than a human could move. I didn’t give Paul time to react as I tackled him against the wall and kneed him in the gut. A whimper escaped me as he cried out. I reminded myself this was necessary. I’d hit him as many times as need be to give him back his free will.

  “What the hell!” Paul moaned, clutching his middle as he crouched and leaned against the wall.

  “I’m sorry. Really, I’m so sorry. But Hessa got to you. Do you feel in control now?” I panted. Did I sound like an overexcited dog? But there were only two Putzkammers left and I wasn’t about to lose another one.

  “What do you mean? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Paul slowly pushed himself up and glared at me.

  I gnawed on my lower lip. Was he free of her charms and just didn’t remember? Or was he still under her control and was forced not to say anything? My hands opened and closed as I shifted from one foot to the other.

  What
to do? Glancing at the freezer, my heart skipped a beat. Hitting Paul again might be useless. Reason. Yes, talk it out.

  “I saw them. The vampires in the freezer,” I whispered and gestured with a hand.

  Paul straightened and stilled. “What?”

  Okay, maybe he didn’t remember. Definitely Hessa’s evil touch. Good thing the Lady told me to stay tonight. I could save Paul and everyone from a sneak attack from below.

  “The vampires in the freezer. You were talking to them.” I kept my voice low.

  “You saw that?” Paul whitened to a sickly pale.

  I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the door. “But it’s okay. I know Hessa messed with your mind. She’s powerful. She got to your father, after all. It’s why I hit you. Pain loosened the hold. You do feel more like yourself now, right? Tell me you’re okay, and then we can get the Allu down here to clear out those bastards.”

  “Oh, Erin. I’m so sorry.” Paul pulled free of my hold and shook his head. “I didn’t mean—”

  “I know you didn’t mean to let them in. You couldn’t help it. I just had to free you from Hessa’s hold before I told the Allu so they wouldn’t kill you too. I know you’re a victim, but they might not see it that way.” I rambled on, relieved to have him back to his normal self. I needed Paul alive. Couldn’t bear to lose him.

  As I stepped on the first stair to go up, Paul took my hand and pulled me back to him. I expected a hug. His fist smashing into my face rocked me backward. I didn’t fall over only because he had a hold of me. Blood sprung from my nose in a hot gush.

  “I’m sorry. You should’ve left town when I told you to.” Paul dragged me away from the stairs.

  I screamed, believing he was going to throw me to the vampires in the freezer. I kicked and couldn’t find purchase with my feet. I spit out the blood that streamed into my mouth. How could this be happening? I was trying to save him.

  Paul didn’t bring me back into the mortuary, though. He pulled me down the short hall to the crematorium. “If you would’ve left town, you’d live through this. You could have even come back to work for me after it all blew over. No one else has a talent like yours. I don’t know why Dad didn’t encourage you to use it more often.”

  What the hell was he talking about? Work for him? I tried to yank free, but his fingers were fused like a cuff around my wrist.

  “I’ve always loved you like a sister. You never picked on me like Cort and Connor, and you were always a good worker. So I’ll do this as fast as possible. It’ll be easier than what Hessa has in store for you.” Paul flicked on the light and tossed me toward the enchanted furnace. He withdrew a gun from a holster he’d hidden under his suit jacket. “Please don’t fight me.”

  I stumbled and caught myself against the table we used to push bodies into the cremation oven. Heat radiated off it and prickled against my skin. Was it still on? We’d used it earlier to cremate Aleo and Bolona.

  Paul had a gun. And it sounded like he was going to kill me. This couldn’t be happening.

  I shook my head. “Hessa’s still controlling you. Think rationally for a minute. She killed your father, your mother, Connor. She’ll kill all of us. You’d never turn on your family. Let me help you.”

  “Hessa does not control me. She and I have a business arrangement.” Paul lifted his chin and straightened his jacket. “And you know my family better than that. None of them liked me. Cort was Dad’s favorite and Connor was the spoiled baby. The business is in all our names, but it will be Cort’s. I have nothing that’s mine. And I’m the one who does all the real work around here.”

  I blinked as my heart hammered. I shook my head again. Of course they loved him. Sure, he was the quiet one. A little weird in his family’s eyes maybe. And there was always the stereotype of the creepy embalmer, but I’d never really thought that way of Paul.

  Okay, a little resentment might nip at his heart. It was that way with most families, right? There was sibling rivalry and jealousy, but in the end, everyone loved one another.

  Hessa played on Paul’s weaknesses. Used her charms to manipulate him. That had to be it. And if I could convince him of it…

  Paul thrust the gun toward me. “Get moving.”

  There wasn’t enough time for talking. I wiped at my cheeks. He was going to kill me. How was I going to stop this?

  The tears came faster as I realized what I had to do. Never had I used my powers on someone I cared for, but I could weaken him enough to disarm and bind him.

  Focusing on Paul, I opened myself up to him. Quiet and cool as he usually seemed, he was a great whirlwind of emotions. Grief over his lost parents.

  A teenage Paul standing in the mortuary with his father discussing the unique body parts of a deceased Grinto demon. How the boy had admired Aleo and loved it when he took time to teach him these things.

  Anguish over having to kill me.

  The two of us together in the basement finishing off our night’s work. I smiled at him and laughed when he made what he thought was a lame joke. How comfortable we were around one another.

  The sorrow of his little brother’s violent death.

  An almost teenage Paul trying to study while Connor rocked out to some band. Connor danced around and then coaxed Paul out from behind his desk, laughing as they head banged together.

  The emotions were potent, hidden under the anger and jealousy. Those, too, stemmed from sadness about what Paul felt was unfair treatment. All of it was food for me, and I drank deep of him.

  Paul’s hands shook as he frowned. He swiped at his forehead. “Get up there please. The less mess the better. I’ll shoot you in the head. You won’t feel a thing.”

  There was no time for subtlety. My spots came to life with a fiery heat. Very slowly, I moved around the table as if I might be going to get on top of it, but I narrowed the distance between Paul and myself.

  “What’s happening?” Paul shook his head and jabbed the pistol in the air. He whimpered, forcing his free hand to steady the other one. “Is this you? What are you doing to me?”

  “You don’t really want to kill me.” I stepped toward him and held my hands up. So many layers to his grief and each peel as delectable as the last.

  Bolona making a special dinner for Paul when he graduated high school early. No big party for him, but being fussed over by his mother, the proud and loving smile on her face, was far better than having dozens of classmates over that he never really liked anyway.

  “Of course I don’t want to kill you, but I have to. Stop it!” Paul sucked back a sob. His whole skinny body trembled.

  “Put the gun down. Let’s talk about this.” I reached toward him. I shook as much as he did.

  “By Ammut and all the gods, stop!” He shrieked and fumbled, nearly dropping the weapon. Trying to steady himself, he fired.

  I heard the shot. One arm felt hotter than the other. Did he hit me? I didn’t dare look.

  He was going to kill me. Paul was really going to kill me. The truth of it cried out inside of him. There was no other way in his mind. Not just his mind, his heart. Even worse.

  I opened my metaphysical mouth as far as it could go, ravaging him. The anguish immense but never filling me. How it overflowed from him, but it seemed to just whet my appetite.

  Paul’s eyes rolled back in their sockets as he collapsed onto the floor. The gun slid out of his grip toward the door. He seized, gurgling as he tried to say something, and froth decorated the corners of his mouth.

  Bolona sneaking him an extra cookie with a wink.

  Baby Connor so attentive as his brother read to him.

  Cort as a boy standing up for Paul on the playground at school.

  Aleo beaming with pride and applauding as Paul won the state science championship.

  The Putzkammers all together at Christmas. I’d shied away to one side and batted away Connor when he danced around to some holiday tune and tried to get me to join him. Paul came to sit next to me and handed me a small gift. My joy a
t opening the monogrammed pen he told me was specifically for doing crossword puzzles.

  It had been one of my favorite gifts ever.

  I fell to my knees beside him and maneuvered his head onto my lap.

  Stop. I needed to stop.

  I wanted to live in those memories forever.

  With the Putzkammers, I’d learned what happiness truly was and what it meant to be part of a family. Each and every one of them loved me.

  Even Paul.

  I screamed. I dug my nails into my thighs. It wasn’t enough.

  I slapped my arms, my face. Once, twice, and then finally smacked where he’d shot me. A crimson jolt of pain yanked me out of my feeding frenzy, and I collapsed forward with my forehead resting on his chest.

  Too late.

  Paul was dead, and I was as responsible for it as I was for the other deaths. All my fault. If I hadn’t let Nicolas out of the funeral home, if I hadn’t helped him… And then what? Abdiel would’ve killed him.

  My stomach twisted. What did it matter? Nicolas was dead now. Really dead.

  Maybe.

  That possibility kept me from throwing myself to the vampires in the freezer. As much as I wanted the Putzkammers to be alive, for everything to be as it was before, I wanted Nicolas in my life. Those beautiful blue eyes, the devilish smile, and the way he kissed my spots.

  I tore up the stairs and burst into the hall on the ground floor. Silence.

  No, that wasn’t right. It was quiet, but not silent. The tension in the air sizzled with a life of its own.

  Drekavac demons crouched low by the side entrance. Their furry bodies shook with their soft growls, which rumbled down the hall. They reminded me of midget werewolves. A little comical, but nonetheless deadly.

  Glancing toward the main hall, a wall of black leather clad demons blocked my view. Of course the Allu were taking the main entrance.

  Where was Cort? His office was empty.

  A pair of Rusalka demons clutched hands as they stood waiting in the main family room. When I peeked in, they rushed over to embrace me. I didn’t move fast enough to avoid them and was sandwiched between them.

  “Thank you. Thank you so much for helping our sister.” The taller of the pair squeezed me as if I were a beloved ragdoll.